I’m not going to pretend that I
know how you feel. I’m not going to tell
you an inspirational story of how I waited for years on end, and just when it
seemed like there was no hope, my “knight in shining armor” swept me off my
feet. I can’t sympathize with you when
you say that you feel like you’ll never meet that person who helps your life
make a little more sense…or the one who will be right beside you through thick
and through thin, to encourage you, hold you and comfort you. I just can’t. I
have that person. In fact, he is literally right beside me drinking his coffee.
Mine is the story of a girl who married her soul mate right out of college , so
I can’t say that I waited too long for “Mr. Right” to come along(Although, when
it comes to the game of love, any waiting period seems like an eternity).And I
am thankful, believe me. But this is not about how I can or cannot relate. This
is about you.
I was one of the first people in my
circle of friends to get married a little over a year ago. Most of my closest
friends aren’t married yet. We’ve all been out of college for about a year and
a half now, and they are working/finishing school/starting grad school while I
am just now settling into what I call
my “normal marriage routine”. We’re in
different seasons, but so what? They’re still some of the most important people
in my corner, and though we can’t relate on every level, they help me manage my
“crazy”. I love these people with my whole heart. I need them. And no, I can’t
fully relate to them. We’ve established this. Sometimes that means I don’t know
how to encourage them when they’re feeling particularly discouraged about the “L”
word. But my heart aches for them, and
as I was driving home today from work (apparently my wheels spin best when I’m
in the car or the shower…) I felt particularly burdened for them.
My husband was my first official
boyfriend. I had crushes my entire life (probably a new one every month in middle school..oh dear goodness). There were
sometimes mutual crushes, but for the most part, the feelings I had were
unrequited. Dealing with that was hard,
and there times when my heart felt like it couldn’t handle any more rejection…or
couldn’t wait around much longer. I was pretty pathetic (you can ask my two college
besties). I remember feeling so incredibly
hopeless and lonely. I would see a boy on my college campus during a walk to
class and think, is HE my future husband?
Yeah, I was that girl. So when my
husband picked me, out of every woman in the world, to be his wife, I was shocked
and relieved really, because I knew that in the past I had gone about things
horribly wrong. My hope was misplaced and my desire for a husband was too much
of a crutch. For so many years, I desired husband to feel happy and content; to
feel like I could trust the Lord with this major life decision. I don’t know
why, but I felt like somehow being married would solve all of my life problems.
SPOILER ALERT: it doesn’t J
You, my friends, are not like that.
And I can’t allow a moment of discouragement hinder you from seeing how
beautiful you are. I admire you. And even though I don’t know exactly what you
are feeling, I want to be here to remind you of who I see. You are strong and
selfless. You have a holy independence, submitting to the Father, and you take
Him at his word. Your trust in his character is indelible. And your resolute
focus inspires me. You might think that because you don’t have a husband yet that
something is wrong with you. Or that your standards are unreasonably high. But
that is not the case. When I look at you, I see a woman who wholly hopes in God(Ps.
39:7), and who continues to give of herself that He may be glorified. I see
someone who’s need to love people surpasses her need to find a husband(Ruth
1:16). I see someone who is trusting while she waits, instead of hastily making
her own plans (Prov. 3:5-6) I see a peaceful spirit because you choose not to
partner with fear( 1 Peter 3:6). I see a woman who cultivates a heart of
thanksgiving (1 Samuel 2:1-2). I see someone whose quiet confidence points ever
to Christ(Isa. 30:15). I see you. And
each new day that you choose to rest in God’s faithful provision(whether or not
he deems fit that you have a husband) I know he is glorified. I mean, every
time you come to mind I can’t help but squeal a bit and think, gosh, she is so cool. So I know that the Lord is literally singing
in exultation over the woman that you are (Zeph. 3:17). And you are
an amazingly talented, beautiful
inside-and-out person. I am thankful for you. And I am confident that just by
being you lives are being changed and hearts are
being blessed. I know I cannot begin to
understand how your heart is hurting, but I’m here to rejoice over who and
where you are now. And I love the heck out of you. I am thankful for your
influence on my life and it is a blessing to learn from your friendship. Day-by-day
you are becoming more like our good, merciful God, and I think that is
something worth celebrating.
Also, Colin Firth likes you "just as you are":)
