Joy Uncontainable

              

 Her words are few. She just smiles a lot. I see her every week, and the expression never changes. In fact, it grows bigger with each new week.  I don’t know her story. I don’t even know her language. Our only means of communication is through smiles.  Hers is the brightest. It seems to be an honest reflection of gratitude. But for what? My team and I are there weekly with a new activity, several songs and a lesson. She absorbs every minute of that time. Her brothers come with her, and they seem thankful, too. I’ve decided it must be joy. But it’s more than that. It’s like nothing I’ve ever observed before. If you asked me to describe her smile, I’m not sure I could.  It’s comparable to a field of sunflowers. From a distance, you see warmth, and lots of light, but when she’s standing in front of you, there’s so much more there : depth. You could study it for hours and never fully grasp the raw life there. Exhaustive is the best adjective for it. And each smile is different, but similar to the last; all streaming under the reins of indelible joy. In case it isn’t obvious, I love it.

                When I took this job in February, I knew stories would develop. I knew I would be challenged. I wouldn’t have taken the job if that wasn't inevitable. But I never imagined the blessings. It has been more than I could have ever asked. A precious friend and I were discussing gifts recently, and she said something which resounds with this story,

                We as humans are so small-minded. We never think of praying for something so sweet as this. It’s amazing to think that God ultimately creates the biggest blessings. But then, of course He does. He is God!

                She was referring to her new baby(who was, incidentally, in her arms...but then, where else would she be?) but I think her words apply to life. Of course we don’t generate the sweetest blessings because we cannot fathom how mightily God wants to bless us! We are his children; his beloved. Just think of how affected and effective our lives would be if we walked in that! Knowing, BELIEVING  that our Heavenly Father waits to shower us with blessing upon blessing every day…it gives me chills.

                I found out later that my little ray of sunshine’s name is S. She is from Iran. Iran: the source of much conflict and strife at this particular moment. Persecution is happening there. Lives are lost minute-by-minute. S and her family were involved in a terrible explosion, and her parents decided to seek refuge in the USA because of the kindness they were shown by American soldiers. When I first heard that, tears flooded my eyes, and even now…sitting in a coffee shop…entirely exposed…I’m stifling tears, and my heart leaped a little(talk about embarrassing…I have no shame). Her little brother, A (who also always smiles, and loves drawing pictures representing USA) was named after one of the soldiers who rescued their family. Who would have thought that such a beautiful story could come from chaos?

                I easily forget that this is God’s specialty—creating beauty from catastrophe. It’s what He did when he sent his only son to die, then to be raised, so that we might live whole and complete in freedom. Eternal life is our ultimate blessing. Being claimed, pursued, and loved. But the blessings don’t stop there. They are raining down.

                S smiles because she feels safe. She feels accepted. The love that she knows radiates from within. Her joy is ucontainable because it just. keeps. growing.

Wherever you are in life, whatever you're experiencing--pain, heartache, loss, confusion, anger, anxiety, shame, insecurity, and whoever you are, remember this: You are valued. You are normal. You are not alone. You are a blessing to someone. And you are being blessed somehow. You are SO worthy of love.

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom – Luke 12:32, NIV

What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving…steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself- Luke 12:29-32, The Message

Jenna and Jesus

This past Tuesday I had a situation with one of my students. It was probably the worst case I have experienced thus far. We have had problems with her in the past. She just doesn’t want to be at CYT.  I know this because she constantly rolls her eyes, lacks a desire to participate in even the smallest activity, and blatantly tells us. Yesterday was her “breaking point”, I guess. She burst into tears right in the middle of If I Only Had a Brain. My coworker pursued her while I continued rehearsal. This went on for all of 5 minutes, when the girl—let’s call her Jenna(for privacy reasons)—began walking away. At this point, I traded off with Joanna, my coworker, and decided to talk to Jenna myself. Crouched in the corner with tears streaming down her face, she wouldn’t look at me. She just kept talking about how much she hated CYT and that the part she was given is too small. I tried talking through it with her. I took every angle—including the “You have two options…” route. Nothing worked. She hated CYT and she wanted to go home. She told me that her mom wouldn’t allow  her to quit, because she knew she would not get reimbursed. I had been advised[by my boss] to let her sit in the corner while Joanna and I managed the other kiddos. So, I did. A few minutes later she came to me—attitude fully intact—saying that she wanted to play the game, but not to call her mother. As soon as I asked her to return to the corner, she stormed out of the room. That’s right---out of the door, into the open courtyard. Joanna followed while I called her mother. While I talked, she ran(quite fast, I  might add), cried, and told Joanna that she hated us. She spoke angrily through her teeth, and I was afraid she might hurt someone. She finally locked herself in a bathroom stall—for which I think Joanna was grateful since she was so fast. By that point, it was time to end rehearsal. Jenna was thrilled. Joanna later told me that even when she tried to embrace Jenna, she was pushed away with an “I don’t WANT you!”

                Days like these really hurt your heart. Joanna and I had done nothing to make Jenna feel as miserable as she was, yet she still hated us. She wanted nothing to do with us, even though we tried to make her feel as loved and accepted as all of the other kids.

                Last night as I mulled over the day’s events, I was reminded of Eph. 2:3-5:

 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following it’s desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved!

Like Jenna, we ran away from God, in complete hatred and rejection—as objects of wrath. When he pursued us, we ran faster. When he embraced us, we pushed him away. And when we gritted our teeth  in anger, hoping we could make him go away forever, he loved us to the point of death on a cross. He is our Relentless Redeemer.

When he saw how completely hopeless we were, and how directly we opposed him, he didn’t stop loving us. He didn’t give up. Instead, he was filled with compassion. He saw the potential we could be through his blood—through his salvation---and he loved us more.

I’m not sure what is going on in Jenna’s life. Thinking about her makes my heart heavy. I can’t help but wonder if her deliberate opposition and anger came from a dire need to have a place; to feel wanted. She just might not have known how to say that to us. 

Praying I can be more attentive to this inner desire, and less frustrated with how it might be expressed.

Velcro Redemption

Confession: when I was six years old, I did not know how to tie my shoes.  I was the only first grader in my class who couldn’t do it. My parents had no problem with it. In fact, every time this story comes up in my family, Mom smiles confidently, “We knew you would learn on your own time. We didn’t want you to feel pressured if you weren’t ready”.  My big sister didn’t have a problem with it, either. She would sit with me, sometimes for an hour or more, practicing the “Bunny Method”. She’s so patient. My teacher, however, was appalled. At my quaint southern Christian school, that just wasn’t acceptable. There were standards, after all. So, for some reason, she took it upon herself to inflict utter humiliation on me every time I requested she tie my shoe. She would take me aside and firmly scold me, saying things like, “Didn’t you go home and practice last night?” or “Why haven’t your parents taught you this yet?”. Mind you, it wasn’t that my parents had not gone over shoe tying basics with me; it was that I did not feel ready. And I did practice, a lot actually. Frustration came easily, though, when I couldn’t get it right on the first try. So, I resolved to practice persistently until it came naturally. Until then, though, I needed help. This was not my teacher’s favorite job. One day she even called on another student (one of her favorites) to tie my shoe, so I could learn from her example. Well, if you know me, you know that did not go over very well. Although, instead of snapping at her, like I could envision myself doing now(though, as per usual, my  grandeur visions of “talking back” are usually stumped when I am left pathetically speechless in the moment—definitely by God’s design) , I merely sat on the outside steps brokenhearted because I was an outcast.  While all of my peers were running around in their laced, neatly tied shoes, I sat on the front steps crying. In that moment, as the tears streaked my face, I believed I was not good enough. And because of that lie, I vowed never to fail. I promised myself that I would never again let myself experience humiliation. I realize those are some raw thoughts for a six-year old to have, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I don’t take pride in feeling that way, but I don’t claim the creation of those thoughts, either. I know they weren’t from the Lord; they were from the enemy of my soul. And now, viola’! Here I am, 16 years later having never experienced embarrassment or pain again! Ha…WRONG. Very wrong. Because of the vow that I made, I struggle to accept help from others, I desire to be in control, and I fight to believe that I am not a failure. Thankfully, the story doesn’t end here. 

O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption!- Psalm 130:7

If I insert my name up there, it would read something like this: Oh Susanna, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption...

Because…

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.– Zeph. 3:17

REDEMPTION. Because of Christ within me, I am not a failure. He rejoices over me-his uniquely molded creation, made in his image. He does not rebuke me for who I was, he sings over me for who I am in Christ! There is no humiliation in this love; there is HOPE and abounding delight!

After much prayer, and many days of picking up a tearful little girl, my parents decided to  homeschool me. But before that started, my Father did something wonderful: He took me to the Payless to buy some “cool” (my Mom’s words) Velcro closed-toed shoes. They wanted me to see the semester through Christmas, but they gave me some magic Velcro shoes to make the remainder of the year bearable. I remember running freely into Daddy’s arms with a huge grin on my face and some nifty Velcro shoes in hand. My Dad was smiling, too. At the end of the year, Mom and Dad met with the teacher to explain their choice to remove me.  She seemed to take it offensively, I think, but my parents acted only in gentleness towards her. My point is: because of the memory of feeling ashamed, I chose only to remember who I was then and to live out of the lies made that day. I didn’t think about redemption. The Lord purposefully placed me with parents who encouraged, loved and rejoiced over me because he wanted them to mirror his love. And they did. They still do, actually. Naturally, the pain of that memory still exists, but remembering the redemption dissolves the shame and I am able to run joyfully into my Heavenly Father’s arms knowing that I am enough because He is enough.  Remembering redemption: I’m discovering that’s what it means to authentically see what Christ sees when he looks at me. No shame, no rebuke…just deep, pure delight.

Languages & Dryer Sheets

I'm really digging this return to blogging deal. It has become this fun, new hobby that I actually enjoy! Who knew?!

This past month and a half has been particularly busy because a)I started my new job and b) I've been planning our wedding! In case I haven't mentioned it here, I am the youth intern at Perry Presbyterian church! The job started full-fledge June 1st with VBS in the morning and youth activities in the afternoon/evening.For VBS I was teaching and doing drama(both of which I LOVED).I was sure pooped, though. But there is nothing quite so rewarding as teaching a child about Jesus. I suppose I have known that working with children makes my heart tick, but participating in VBS vividly reinforced that truth for me. The youth group is doing a study on Tuesday nights called "Made to Make a Difference". In one of the videos we recently watched, Max Lucado, who authored the series, said, "Look for the people whose language makes the most sense to you". I speak the language of children. I love to watch them learn and grow. I love seeing that little proverbial lightbulb atop their heads go off when they finally understand something. I love watching them make discoveries. I love to watch them having fun. I LOVE children! I could write on this for hours, because they truly fascinate me, but you get it. I really believe the Lord will have me working with children in some form or fashion for the rest of my life. And I am a-O.K. with that! My favorite part of speaking their language is thinking outside of the box. Often, I will totally take myself out of the picture, and join them in the world they have created. It's pretty rad :) I mean...wait, wait. Enough of that. Alas, I must move on.

This summer, I get to learn a new language. Although the language of children makes the most sense, and I enjoy learning it, I have been given the opportunity to speak the language of teenagers. I know what you're thinking: you should be pretty familiar with that one, since you were one not too long ago! You'd think so, wouldn't you? And yet here I am racking my brain trying to figure out what life was like back then. Back then. HA! That's rich. I'm not old enough to be using that phrase. But...maybe I am!Now that I'm getting married, I suddenly feel so old. Think, Sus, think! Well, for the first half of my teen years I was homeschooled. So, I wasn't like regular middle school/highschool kids(No, this is not my confession that homeschoolers are, in fact, socially awkward or sheltered...we're not). But I was different in that I had a lot of time to do extra-curriculars, I was fairly well-rounded, and I could go to school in my pajamas. Instead of staying home for the summer, I found things to do and places to go. Thankfully, many of the kids here are homeschooled as well, and so far, they have all been extremely pleasant. So, I may or may not have been racking my brain in vain. The Lord has given me grace to relate. It has been a lot of fun.

I laugh because, in the teen/middle school years, attention from boys seems like a big deal. At last week's slumber adventure, boys were discussed at length. Throw in giggles and popcorn and it's a party! :) I'm really having a blast. But the cool thing is, these girls LOVE talking about Jesus...more than they enjoy talking about boys! They will sit with you for hours listening and asking questions. It is a humbling reminded of the blessing of being raised in a covenant home. These girls are wise beyond their years, and it is because their parents led by example.

I know I'm rambling...so I'll close with this: Things really do sink in. Whenever you work with youth, you wonder what they're absorbing. I overheard them talking the other night as I rocked on the porch, and they said this: "You know, if you put dryer sheets in your shoes they won't smell!" I laughed as I remembered that I taught them that! Silly, I know...but I felt encouraged!

Until later...thank you for stopping by!

No News is Good News?

In case you were wondering(which I'm sure you were), NO SWEET PEA YET! :( Isn't that frustrating? My entire family: Mom, Dad, Will and myself are all watching Mommy-to-be like a hawk. She is, as my father so eloquently put it, "a ticking time bomb". I've heard that first babies usually take their sweet time in arriving, but I never realized Baby Sweet Pea would be the type! My father and my Uncle Neal say that it's a girl because, "she's already late". Dad said laughingly, "I've been waiting on the Agnew women my entire life!". In my heart, I still believe that it's a boy. But, I'm probably wrong. My sister jokes: "Well, it's either one or the other!". At this point she's just ready for Sweet Pea to be here. I can prayerfully say that Sweet Pea will be here before the new year. You may scoff, but there are a few days left! :)
All of this baby talk has me thinking. I know: surprise, surprise!I realized the other day that we're so anxious because we're thrilled that he/she is coming! When I say anxious, I don't mean that we're fearful or worried about the process. That's definitely not the case. We do believe in a Sovereign God who will work everything out in HIS time. If anyone has displayed that, it's been my sister. She's been patient and kind; serene even. I admire her for that. I think I'd be in tears just about every day the baby was late if it was mine.We're just so READY. The nursery is decorated: bouncer, mobile and crib in place. The pacifiers are sanitized, the bottles and burping cloths are by the sink. Every children's book is on the little white book shelf and every frame is hung neatly on the wall. Everytime I walk into the room I get chills. I'm endlessly amazed at the whole process.My heart still jumps at the thought of becoming an aunt. As I was meditating on this the other day, I felt soundly convicted. Why doesn't my heart always jump when I think of spending an eternity with the God of the Universe? Why am I not constantly preparing His return? The Apostle Paul was clearly enthralled:
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
and be found in him...
(Phil. 3:7-9a)
Evidently, Paul wanted nothing more than to know Christ. Gosh, I wish I was like that. I say that I want to know Christ, but I allow myself to become distracted by the things and people of this world. Those things don't matter, Sus. Paul was ENGROSSED with the Gospel. He lived and loved it. It was the core of his existence and he recognized that. He continues in verse 12:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

Paul had that future hope. I suppose that's the only authentic hope that exists. Hope implies anticipation and expectation. Paul's hope was consistent and confident. So, I hope for Sweet Pea, because I know he/she is coming. Shouldn't I all the more hope in the glorious return of the Father to bring his beloved home?

I'm telling you: hope has been the theme of my semester. It's only now beginning to make sense. I feel so small, and yet SO thankful.

Learning to love,

Sus

PS: I will keep y'all updated on Sweet Pea news; don't worry!

My,Oh My!

Today was special. I taught the Camelotians and Damsels(my two favorite groups) for the last time today. :( I don't know why I love the Camelotians so much. It's probably because they're so young and innocent. They're between ages 8-9. Kids that age seem so unphased by society. It's awesome. So, when I told them today that their characters are supposed to be grumpy, they ran with it. It was sooo cute.They were perfectly grouchy and I loved it. Then, when I worked with the Damsels today, I couldn't help but smile. There are only three of them(there are usually 6), but I believe these girls have put more heart into their roles than most of the Damsels I've seen. They're young, too(Camelotian age), but that doesn't seem to affect their performance. I love their passion. Its refreshing to work with ladies who care!

And now, to share a funny story with you:
When Jacqueline and I arrived at the AFB Ballroom this morning for rehearsal, we noticed that we were missing a few cast members. When we spoke to our contact, she informed us that one of our Knights(who is also 9) got his arm stuck in the pool table. I kid you not. When we investigated, we saw the evidence. There he was, our poor, pathetic Red Knight wimpering under the pressure of the pool table(and his newly-drawn crowd). I'm not entirely sure how he managed to get himself stuck there, but it was a sad sight. His siblings were hanging around him crying anxiously. When I asked what the status was, his older brother(who has a lisp) replied,"Well, they're slowly trying to ease his arm out with some grease...and they've called the fire department". He was a little too distraught over this. An older mom was sitting nearby and responded to his comment(she was British):"Really,darling, you musn't be sad about it. It's actually quite funny. No need to cry"

Then, when he was finally free of the table, he wanted to know why we started rehearsal so late...

Oh,boy... :)

Learning how to love until all have heard,

Sus
(4 days!!!eeeeek!)

Sinking

I'm not really sure that I want this madness to end! I taught some of my favorite scenes to my favorite characters in the show for the last time today. Thinking about it now saddens me. Last week, however, I just wanted to speed the process up. It was a hard 7 days, to say the least. I won't go into detail, but I was thankful to pull out of town on Sunday morning.I will say this: J and I had to create a "NO eating during rehearsals/performances" rule. Teehee. These are some crazy kids!If you want to hear the stories, just ask(susanna.agnew@gmail.com)
Jacqueline and I had mani/pedi bonding time on the way out of town to celebrate the coming of my last week.It's bittersweet. That's really the only way I see it. It's the end. And I'm not really ready to say goodbye. During my final audition session today, I almost teared up(yes, I am THAT much of a girl). I will miss working with these precious children. And yes, they are ALL precious. If I have learned anything about little ones this summer(and essentially people), it is this: each one has something wonderfully unique to offer because they are all created in the image of Christ. Some of them are unexplainably angry. Some of them are selflessly kind. Others,still, are mysteriously in between-not unhappy, but not joyful either. Whatever the personality, they're all special. You just have to look, love and learn!
It has been so easy for me to lose my temper lately...probably because home comes soon(5 days!!!) and I'm anxious. I'm not entirely ready to revisit the real world, but it seems I can't escape it. Just...a...few...more...days...I'm striving, but I don't want to miss the joy in this last week because I'm hoping for home. I'm reminded of a favorite literary character, Sir Reepicheep, from the Chornicles of Narnia series, who said:
"While I can, I sail East in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle.When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not yet reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract,I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise"

Hm. Reepicheep was determined. He knew how he was going to sail and why he was sailing. He even reaized that when he could swim no longer, he would face death...and he chose to face it with an eternal perspective,"nose to the sunrise".
What would it look like to be that consistent? To have an undivided heart(Ezekiel 11
:19) like Reepicheep? How would I live if every moment concerned eternity? How would I love if every person I encountered was seen through this lens?

Francis Chan describes this kind of person in his book,Crazy Love:
"A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them...people who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving his people...obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world"

Heh, I'm not that person.Not even close to being that person. Even though I desire to be that person, I can't do it. Not on my own. And if my desire is authentic, then it's not from Susanna, it is from Christ. CHRIST is supplying the need; the longing to live with this Heavenly perspective. I can share Christ with people, but HE is the one stirring their hearts. I can serve these children faithfully, but if I am not surrendered pathetically to the love of Christ, then my service is futile.Here's a BIG life lesson I've learned recently: I can make plans, but CHRIST is directing my steps. He knows better. HE is sovereignly good---> this means that if something doesn't go the way I wanted, it is good. So, how can I live with this Heavenly perspective? Through the grace of Christ. He will equip me to "sink" with a Heavenly, joyful perspective. Only by His grace. I'm so thankful this doesn't depend on me because I fail everyday. Daddy, make me like Reepicheep.

Learning how to love until all have heard,

Sus
(5 days!!eek!)

Glitter

Loving people has been difficult lately. Don't ask me why. Maybe its because I'm so distracted by work...or maybe its because I'm selfish(I'd go with the latter excuse). I am such a sinner. Everyday my loathing of this sin darkens. Sin really is detestable. We taught 19 workshops in Reno last week. That's roughly 4 a day. OR, in our case, 3 Monday-Wednesday, 5 Thursday and 5 on Friday. On top of that, we directed 4 hours of rehearsals with a mere fifteen minute break in between. By the time we made it back to our hotel in the evening, it was bedtime and I was pooped! Fun fact: when Susanna is lacking in sleep, she's either grumpy or loopy. The combination of those two emotions is NOT appropriate for working with kids. At morning workshops, my sleeplessness threatened to overtake me. So, before each morning,I knelt in prayer before the Lord, asking for strength. It wasn't easy to love the unruly children at some of those workshops, but by God's grace I could. Instead of feeling frustrated with kids for jumping on me and failing to pay attention at times, I felt compassionate towards them. Naturally, my sin would sneak up on me, telling me to snap. But the Lord is immensely gracious, and "where sin increased, grace increased all the more". Miraculously, when a little one asked, "Why do I need to listen to this?" I was able to answer politely, and with a smile. And when yet another began to whine because her costume wasn't the way she preferred, I was able to smile, fix her problem and move forward with the day.Also, when the frequent nose-bleed occurred(we are out West, after all), I didn't become unglued. I calmly and patiently escorted him/her to the bathroom and was even able to alleviate any little-one fears with a kind word. It hasn't been easy to live in a world of complaints, nose-bleeds and rebellious attitudes, but by God's grace I manage. No, I don't manage, I shine.Actually, Christ shines.Susanna has nothing to do with it. Last Friday, Jacqueline and I had 5 workshops, 4 hours of rehearsal, and 1 hour of constructing the set afterward. It was a strenuous day. Later on,the Lord encouraged my heart with this verse:
"The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of the dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day"
--Proverbs 4:18
Earlier last week, on a day when I was feeling particularly discouraged over a number of silly things, one little boy decided to make me smile. I was sitting there pitifully attempting some paperwork, when a young Camelotian took my hand. I had been grouchy all day long and I was acting ridiculous.
"Where are we going?"
No answer.
He took me up to the piano, where our lovely accompanist was reviewing sheet music.
When we arrived at the piano(the walk to the stage was quite lengthy), he placed one hand on my shoulder and the other on the accompanist's.With a smile that was more than endearing, he said, "You(accompanist) are just the best piano player ever. And YOU(Susanna) are just...you are just the most talented singer and actor I have ever met". When he finished his spiel, he ran away to join the other children. Was he seriously talking to me, Miss Grumpy McGrumperson? Humbled, party of one. What a gracious God we serve. I know these stories may seem redundant, but its because these grace experiences far outweigh the negativities(which aren't truly as bad as they seem) my sin tries to magnify. How beautiful it is to feel the light of Christ amidst the "Oscar the Grouch" moments. It is refreshingly real and abundantly humbling. Christ shines through the grouch within. Christ is the light source, making his beloved shine "ever brighter until the full light of day" when He returns. What is my response? Thanks and a desire(through God's grace) to love the Oscars of this world. Writing as one myself, you never know what they're feeling.And you have to realize(even though they're not the shiniest toy in the box) that they have glitter,too.

Learning how to love until all have heard,

Susanna