Back in the day one of my absolute favorite tween movies was the classic[and by classic, I mean I was 12 when it previewed] Thirteen Going on Thirty. In the movie, an awkward, discontented teen wishes to be "thirty, flirty and thriving" in hopes to escape her less-than-exciting 13th year. Much to her surprise, her wish comes true. She awakens the next morning to a bustling New York city outside her window, and a fabulously fit thirty-year-old's body. She has a grown-up job, a celebrity boyfriend AND a snazzy uptown wardrobe. She is finally living her dream. And it all started with the desire to be 30, Flirty and Thriving.
Well...
30 weeks into my pregnancy, I have officially deemed myself 30 and Sturdy(mostly because of how large I feel). Thriving? Not so sure about that one. It seems more like surviving in my mind(but that's probably the hormones yapping). I have adopted what my husband calls, the waddle. This is not to be confused with the wildly popular dance craze the wobble[see video below]. No folks, this is my charming means of mocking what used to resemble walking. I'm sure you've observed it in your local park or grocery store. The obviously pregnant woman's legs, hips and abdomen are so grossly enlarged that her lower body is consumed, and any effort to walk is futile. Thus, the waddle emerges. Her upper body is slightly tilted, her legs are spread apart(just far enough to cope, but remaining inside her personal "bubble"), and her arm is cocked at her hip(for reinforcement, naturally). This is actually quite terrible for your back, so I fight it, but most days it happens out of habit.
Another lovely feature of this pregnancy is my energy and hormone levels. I am literally chuckling as I write this one because I know I am not the most enjoyable person some days. My birthing coach(yup, I have one...more on that later) reminded me recently that I am pumping 40% more blood volume through my body. Plus, the amount of hormones produced during pregnancy equates to the amount produced by 10,000 menopausal women. Did anyone else know that? Does it ease anyone else's mind[all my preggos, can I get an AMEN?!]. As a result, my sinuses and emotions are wacky.
And yes, the birthing coach. Oh, the birthing coach. This is basically someone who meets with me once a week to fill me in on the joys, woes and wonders of pregnancy, labor and delivery. I know what you're thinking, and you're right: that IS a lot to take in. Last week, after our 2.5 hour session, I felt someone had pried my mouth open, inserted a fire hose, AND released the flood gates. It was overwhelming for sure. I have until next Tuesday to watch a live action film of 3 natural births...still haven't mustered the courage to do it. Don't know if I will. Stay tuned...
And the decisions. You don't realize how much there is to be done until you actually start attending classes and researching. So many details and [seemingly] so little time!
Plus, sciatica has reared its head. And let me tell y'all, boy is it UGLY. Sometimes I can't even bend over the pain is so intense!
BUT please don't misunderstand me. I do not chronicle these aspects of my journey to complain. I write because I want to remember that--in spite of all the abnormalities and discomfort--I was excited. Because I am. I am SO excited. Nervous, yes...who wouldn't be? That's expected, of course. But YOU GUYS. In just two months I get to meet my DAUGHTER! What?! The very fact that God is allowing me to grow a human inside of my body(despite those nasty symptoms) is pretty darn nifty. In fact, it's a miracle. I don't want to take that for granted.
Yes, I waddle, and my breath seems heavier every day. And falling asleep gets a little bit harder every night[not to mention more uncomfortable] Plus, my gums bleed, my eyes water and my nose is an ever-flowing fountain. And yes, the research is foreign and scary. The classes are sobering and my list of decisions is endless...
But she kicks. And I get to feel that. When she pokes, she can feel me poke back. She whirls around in my womb and my heart skips a beat. She is a little life, growing daily and waiting to meet the world.
Most importantly: she is created by a Father who loves her perfectly. And who has entrusted her fragile life to two desperate sinners who daily need grace-upon-grace.
Oh, how thankful I am that He supplies it in every moment of every day!
And so, in every bout of breathlessness, every seize of sciatica and [especially] every kick, I will remember to be thankful.
That's what He continues to teach me on this crazy path. And I don't want to forget any detail along the way.
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