Babies Don't Keep

Almost two months ago [what?!] I became a mommy. Truthfully, If you've ever been pregnant, you[like me] probably counted yourself a mom the day you found out. But 6 weeks and 6 days ago[at 1:58 am...oof] I had physical proof lying bundled in my arms. And three days later, our new little family was discharged and sent home[can you believe they let you take them so fresh and shiny?]

And 3 weeks ago, we had our first bout of infant constipation. It was one of the most traumatic days of my life. I'm not sharing this with you because you find my daughter's bowels interesting[I know you don't] I'm sharing this with you because it's my life. Her face was red, crinkled in pain. And when she screamed for the first time since birth, I cried. For whatever reason, her colon just wasn't working that day. She was stopped up[I think you get it].  And after exhausting every natural option, I realized I could do nothing about it[I'm not into suppositories]. All I could do was love her and pray over her tummy.

It had been a long day, and Daddy came home that evening. I was relieved thinking, maybe he has some magic voo-doo that I don't and the problem will disappear. Between screams In the midst of trying to remedy the situation, tensions rose. We were both exhausted and felt helpless. I'm typing this in laughter now, because who ever knew I could get so worked up over my baby's poop routine? Not me. But I did.  And my poor, tired, only-trying-to-help husband received the brunt of the day's frustrations. 

There is a poem I've heard since I entered motherhood. One of the lines has been streaming through my brain since the baby came:

Settle down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep. 

 The basic sentiment: cherish each and every moment with your children because it doesn't last forever; they grow up. 

As I was crawling into the shower after the longest day of my life, I had a revelation: 

Babies don't keep...

But marriage does.

Yes, it is vital to be in the moment with my little girl, but am I doing the same with my husband?

In twenty years(Lord-willing) baby girl will be an adult. She will be out of the house and (once the other currently fictitious children leave) I will be alone with my husband. What will our relationship look like then? My prayer is that our faith will be stronger, and our love[both for God and each other] will be deeper. If that is the case, we will be excited to start a new chapter of life together. We won't be strangers who fell in love in the distant past--we will still be madly, head-over-heels, gaga for each other!

After my shower, I returned to the nursery. My husband was still faithfully rocking our daughter in his arms. I gave him a kiss as a personal reminder of my recent revelation.

Yes, babies don't keep. But if I'm so focused on wishing my child wouldn't grow, I would miss everything. Don't get me wrong, I still think she's growing entirely too fast, and I wish I could freeze time every so often. But I've got to remind myself to look at what's in front of me and give thanks. 

My first priority is to my husband. Our relationship is ordained by God. I am called to love him first, to serve him first and to consider him first. I must cherish him.  My baby's needs are so obvious and [sometimes] so easily met. I can quickly be consumed with diaper changes, warm bubble baths and story time. But even a mere, I love you, in between/during the daily grind makes all the difference in the world. Plus, it reminds my husband that he is first. If I'm not pursuing that relationship [after my relationship with the Lord] then we will grow apart and God will not be honored. 

I feel like I take an eternity to hash out my thoughts. But that is the purpose of this blog. It exists solely for my sanity and I don't actually know how many people read it. If you do, thank you for entertaining my musings. My prayer is that you feel encouraged and challenged the way I have been. 

Now the line, babies don't keep won't simply be my reminder to snuggle my daughter, but to engage her daddy pre-snuggle. And together, as God wills, we will grow. That way when we're old and crochety, we will still be laughing, crying and moving forward in love. 

PS: If you've seen Gilmore Girls, you'll understand the following reference-- 

The scene at Rory's Chilton graduation where Brad sings,"Cherish" has been running through my mind while writing this post! 

UPDATE: in case you were wondering, we figured out the poop problem. Baby girl is happy and healthy in her routine. 😂😉 Every time she smiles I have to keep my eyes from welling up. Oy, motherhood!