Restless in the New Year [or] Pregnant and Feelin' It

You know, people tell you that pregnancy is challenging, but it's one of those pieces of advice you can't fully grasp until you're feeling it. Literally feeling it. About a month ago I chronicled my latest and greatest meanderings on what it is to be a preggo-that is how I have affectionately labeled myself throughout this BUMPY (get it, because I have a bump?) ride- and I must tell you, my thoughts and, ahem, my belly, have only grown since. Now 11 pounds(since my last doctor's visit 2 months ago), 2 long airplane rides, multiple holiday parties and 1 tall box of Godiva chocolates later(we're talking a three tier courtesy of my WONDERFUL boss) I am a Waddling Wonder.  And I definitely have to continue choosing joy over fear.

First trimester was scary and new because I had never before been pregnant. It's all still new, by the way, but my curiosities are different.

Before, I was nervous that:
-something could happen to the baby
- something could be wrong with me
-Babe-o wasn't moving enough, or at all, actually

...among other things based on readings and information I gathered from friends...

And now, it's:
- finding the perfect name
- making space for this kid
- taking classes
- registering for all the "right" (smart, safe, and quality) products
- reading the right books
- finding a DOULA( more on that later...)

It's enough to make my head spin! I dream in lists, and awake with a drive to accomplish everything ASAP. With the flurry of the New Year and the bustle of creating the ideal resolutions,  everything sort of tangles together. The lists are limitless...my brain feels like spaghetti(...which actually sounds DELICIOUS right about now...)

YET

Here are the facts:
My Babe-o is coming this year and that is a good thing from the Lord. I can either rest in and enjoy the blessing, or I can plan myself to death and miss it completely.

So, today [and everyday] I am embracing the reality that these lists must be surrendered to Him day-by-day, minute-by-minute.  I cannot accomplish anything in my own, and worrying only wastes my time and my energy. Instead, I can recall His faithfulness and move forward in it. I can remember all of the seemingly insignificant ways throughout the process--and the day-- that God has reminded me of his love. It's those little things that remind you of the BIG THING that God is doing...and the BIG VICTORY we have because of the Gospel.

I can remember every small victory and live in hope.

That's all the energy I can muster for now...

The cycle spins on:
eat(something salty, naturally, then something sweet) potty, fluids, eat, potty...etc

You get it.

P.S. Babe-o DID kick at 19 weeks, and it hasn't stopped since. :)

Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lam. 3:21-23