The Truth About Your Wedding Day

This past year, my husband and I have been invited to at least 15 weddings. No, I’m not exaggerating. Naturally, since we are all the way on the West Coast, and most of the weddings to which we were invited occurred on the East Coast, we couldn’t go. Bummer.  But there were pictures. Pictures of the cake, the flowers, the dress…and I always tried to make sure I saw those. Every time I looked, I gained ideas and subconsciously thought to myself, I should’ve done that or  I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Those thoughts eventually spiraled into this ugly path of discontentment and thinking what if. For an entire year, I have “kicked” myself for not thinking of this or not doing that. I have looked at my wedding photos—which were so beautifully perfected by WeDo Wedding Photography(shameless plug)—and thought, maybe we should have done this pose or gosh, I wish I had worn  fake eyelashes. I can point out the tiniest details and tell you what should have happened as opposed to what did happen. I am, as I have recently referred to myself, The Queen of Wishful Thinking.  But here’s the thing: IT DOES NOT MATTER. Phew, it feels good to get that off my chest. All of those details I mentioned aren’t noticeable in the slightest.

This week I visited family in Alabama. You wanna know what they said about my wedding? It was beautiful. We had so much fun. Your family is so gracious. The reception was awesome! What? No one noticed that I didn’t wear fake eyelashes?

 Oh.

 Right.

 In my sheepishness, I remembered the way I,the bride, felt that day: Overjoyed. Excited. Loved.

 The truth about my wedding day: It was not perfect.

What the experts don’t tell you: The bride will be stressed. That is normal. If you’re the bride, then this means that you should not feel like an isolated case when you start feeling a little on edge. You’re not a weirdo, you’re just nervous.
What they should tell you: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Things are going to go wrong. Not everything will be exactly as planned. It won’t be like a Disney Princess wedding (because, well, let’s just be honest…that’s not real life).What matters most is that at the end of the day you will be married to the person God designed specifically for YOU.

 No, my wedding day was not perfect. But I sure felt loved. So many people worked hard to remind me of that—whether it was through decorating my reception, to arranging my flowers, to planning showers, to doing all of the special small tasks in between. I couldn’t have been blessed with a more caring, selfless group of people even if I had asked!

 In our culture ---especially thanks to Pinterest (I love it and I hate it) your wedding  is built up to be this magical, perfect day. As brides, we put too much pressure on ourselves--or at least, I did—claiming that everything must be absolutely flawless and…er…the best wedding to date(selfish, I know). It has to be the day where all those ideas you thought about as a little girl come to fruition. Nothing must be left out, nothing must be forgotten. And since there are always new cute wedding ideas to pursue, you feel like you’ll never have the ideal wedding.

 LIES. ALL LIES.

 If brides continue to think this way, we could all be funneled into the “Bridezilla” category. It’s too much pressure. These expectations aren’t helpful in the least.

 Your wedding day will not be perfect. But it will be magical. Not because you looked radiant in the pictures, or because your wedding party looked rad. But because you married the guy who makes you feel a little less crazy. Because your dearest friends came together to hold you accountable to love, respect and cherish your new spouse for the rest of your life. Because(hopefully) everyone witnessed a taste of the Gospel and the love Christ has for his bride, the church.

 My wedding day was not perfect. And that is wonderful because it means that I’m a real person. Not a Pinterest board. Not a celebrity on the cover of People. Once we, as brides, begin to realize this (you’re winning if you’ve already realized this and you’re not yet married) there is so much freedom! Freedom and thanksgiving. Because then, instead of remembering all those little things you didn’t do, you’re reminded of that magnificent day when all of the fantastic people in your circle pitched in—A LOT—just because they love you. Suddenly, your heart fills with joy at God’s good, sweet gifts. And the little things that mattered more than anything start to disappear amidst a contented heart.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22