Peaceful

My sweet grandmother, Rogie(Mary Turner Rogers) passed away last night in her sleep. When I found out, I wasn't sure how I felt. For the first few minutes, I merely sat on my bed and let the tears fall. It was a quiet mourning for the three of us: Mom,Sissy and me. We held each other closely and just wept. Thankfully, Anna Lyn was there to make us smile. With every tear that fell she provided a warm, "Good morning, Gigi" or a happy giggle. It really is a joy to have a baby nearby when someone you love dies. It's like the Lord knew that we would need her bright, teethy grin and her funny personality for such a time as this.

It is difficult to express what I feel at this very moment. Sad, of course, because our precious,saintly Rogie has left us. Thankful, because I got to say goodbye. But I think the strongest emotion lingering is relief. Rogie had been through numerous trials in her life. She was hospitalized many times, and came close to death more than once. She lost her soulmate as a middle-aged woman, with three children to put through college. Add to that her daily fight to live as a godly guidance counselor and teacher during a time when loving people of a different race was considered rebellious. Through the grace of God, Rogie stood for righteousness and it wasn't easy, particularly then. She survived her siblings nad many close friends. And in the last years of her life, her speech and limbs were impaired by Parkinson's disease. For the first time, Rogie could not communicate and move as she was accustomed. It was probably frustrating and discouraging at times. Rogie knew pain. She felt it, tasted it and faced it daily. But she kept pressing through it. Every time I visited, she had something new to tell me about Jesus, and I almost always caught her singing hymns of praise to Him or spending time with Him in the Word. She exemplified a Saviour who provides, is mighty to save and is quick in compassion and love. Always after our time together, I was left wondering why her beloved Saviour hadn't taken her home yet. Today I understand: we needed her. The Lord knew her life would push us into a more intimate relationship with him. And we needed her example of kindess, mercy, and perseverance to remember the way the Lord loves us; to remind us of the ultimate blessing that is having a personal relationship with the true Lover of our souls, the only One who can satisfy. Rogie knew, through all of the pain and suffering, that her hope was Christ. And we saw that in every twinkle of her eyes, felt it in every kiss and hug, and heard it in the gentleness of her voice. So why am I relieved?Because today she embraced her husband, long-lost siblings and friends. Today she is dancing with her Father. Peacefully, in no pain and the sweetness of sleep, she entered into the presence of God and heard the words, "Well done, my good and faitfhul servant".

Even now, it is hard to contain tears as I write. But, because our God is so holy, he can enjoy welcoming Rogie into his kingdom while also comforting those who survived her. In every tear that traces my cheek I am forced to remember Psalm 56:8-

You have kept count of my tossings. Put my tears in your bottle...

The Lord knows how hard this is for those left behind. But I can't help but think of the joy Rogie now feels that she is finally forever praising the Lord in a glorified form! Just think, right now she is probably singing something like this:

My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!

Psalm 56:7-11

We love you, Rogie. And we are forever changed because of you.