There Art Thou Happy

Things have been wonderful lately. I can honestly say that I have everything I've wanted(at this particular stage of life). And yet, I'm not consistently thankful. I realize you're probably saying, "Susanna, really? You have so much more than most..."(you know, the usual spiel that I often feed MYSELF in hopes to revive my ungrateful heart). I realized this lack of thankfulness as I was mulling over my life the other day. I don't know when I stopped remembering to be thankful. I suppose it was at the peak of my blessings. With such a great downpour of goodness, I became greedy. I started comparing my blessings to those of others, and suddenly mine paled in comparison. My blessings were all about ME; about what Susanna needed and desired. And nothing ever satisfied me. Thinking on it now, it really sounds pathetic, right? I was being ridiculously selfish. And on top of that, my greed stifled any joy that tried to sprout up among the infertile soil of my heart. Thankfully, the Lord gave me a swift and necessary reminder. One morning when I was studying 1 Samuel 2,I was particularly drawn to the first verse:

"Then Hannah prayed to the Lord and said: My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies for I delight in your deliverance"

At this point, my heart was so jaded by my greed that I couldn't understand this verse at all. The Lord graciously gave me the desire to delve, and I did. According to the Reformation Study Bible, The Hebrew word for horn was used to describe the horns of various animals and is also used metaphorically to symbolize pride and strength The horns of an animal were the most crucial advertising tool. When a farmer went to buy an ox, he looked to see how big the animal's horns were. If the horns were large, then the animal was considered strong and fierce. They were, in a sence, the animal's "pride". According to Blue Letter Bible, Horns are emblems of power, dominion, glory, and fierceness, as they are the chief means of attack and defence with the animals endowed with them (Dan 8:5,9; 1Sa 2:1; 16:1,13; 1Ki 1:39; 22:11; Jos 6:4,5; Psa 75:5,10; 132:17; Luk 1:69, etc.). The expression "horn of salvation," applied to Christ, means a salvation of strength, or a strong Saviour (Luk 1:69). Psalm 89:24 says:
"My faithful love will be with him and through MY NAME his horn will be exalted"
Whew, all of this to say that my perception of gratitude was completely off and I was miserable. I quickly jotted down the things in my life that could be considered my "horn"(s). As I wrote, I imagined Friar Lawrence standing beside me adding: "There art thou happy" after every item just as he rebuked Romeo and Juliet once upon a time. I realized I was placing my happiness in those happy things the Lord had provided and NOT in the LORD alone.My blessings had become my pride and my strength, and I was quickly learning that they couldn't grant contentment. The LORD is my HOPE and my DELIGHT(Psalm 37:3-5). Why can't I learn to make HIM my happiness? Because I'm a filthy sinner. However, praise be to God that HE gives me the desire to remember that my happiness is found in Christ alone!! Grace abounds....and I am grateful.

Learning to love until all have heard,

Sus