Sinking

I'm not really sure that I want this madness to end! I taught some of my favorite scenes to my favorite characters in the show for the last time today. Thinking about it now saddens me. Last week, however, I just wanted to speed the process up. It was a hard 7 days, to say the least. I won't go into detail, but I was thankful to pull out of town on Sunday morning.I will say this: J and I had to create a "NO eating during rehearsals/performances" rule. Teehee. These are some crazy kids!If you want to hear the stories, just ask(susanna.agnew@gmail.com)
Jacqueline and I had mani/pedi bonding time on the way out of town to celebrate the coming of my last week.It's bittersweet. That's really the only way I see it. It's the end. And I'm not really ready to say goodbye. During my final audition session today, I almost teared up(yes, I am THAT much of a girl). I will miss working with these precious children. And yes, they are ALL precious. If I have learned anything about little ones this summer(and essentially people), it is this: each one has something wonderfully unique to offer because they are all created in the image of Christ. Some of them are unexplainably angry. Some of them are selflessly kind. Others,still, are mysteriously in between-not unhappy, but not joyful either. Whatever the personality, they're all special. You just have to look, love and learn!
It has been so easy for me to lose my temper lately...probably because home comes soon(5 days!!!) and I'm anxious. I'm not entirely ready to revisit the real world, but it seems I can't escape it. Just...a...few...more...days...I'm striving, but I don't want to miss the joy in this last week because I'm hoping for home. I'm reminded of a favorite literary character, Sir Reepicheep, from the Chornicles of Narnia series, who said:
"While I can, I sail East in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle.When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not yet reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract,I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise"

Hm. Reepicheep was determined. He knew how he was going to sail and why he was sailing. He even reaized that when he could swim no longer, he would face death...and he chose to face it with an eternal perspective,"nose to the sunrise".
What would it look like to be that consistent? To have an undivided heart(Ezekiel 11
:19) like Reepicheep? How would I live if every moment concerned eternity? How would I love if every person I encountered was seen through this lens?

Francis Chan describes this kind of person in his book,Crazy Love:
"A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them...people who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving his people...obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world"

Heh, I'm not that person.Not even close to being that person. Even though I desire to be that person, I can't do it. Not on my own. And if my desire is authentic, then it's not from Susanna, it is from Christ. CHRIST is supplying the need; the longing to live with this Heavenly perspective. I can share Christ with people, but HE is the one stirring their hearts. I can serve these children faithfully, but if I am not surrendered pathetically to the love of Christ, then my service is futile.Here's a BIG life lesson I've learned recently: I can make plans, but CHRIST is directing my steps. He knows better. HE is sovereignly good---> this means that if something doesn't go the way I wanted, it is good. So, how can I live with this Heavenly perspective? Through the grace of Christ. He will equip me to "sink" with a Heavenly, joyful perspective. Only by His grace. I'm so thankful this doesn't depend on me because I fail everyday. Daddy, make me like Reepicheep.

Learning how to love until all have heard,

Sus
(5 days!!eek!)